Party Banter
by InquisitorAshlynn
Summary: Who doesn't love the witty banters between the characters? I know I do. Join our favorite storytelling dwarf, our shy spirit, our quirky sharpshooter and our other new companions. You'll learn to love them all. Enjoy!
1. Curious Spirit

**This is banter between Varric, Sera and Cole. The storytelling dwarf is being his usually self and by his side is the quirky elf, Sera. Her personality is**

**somewhat like Varric's, but she is impulsive and stubborn. She also has a strong dislike of Cole, our little shy spirit. He's sort of like a child. He is quiet**

**and shy, but if he has to fight, he gladly will. Hopefully this banter will give you an idea of their relationships. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

"Oi Varric! The Inquisitor and Cullen were making goo-goo eyes at each other again!"

"Ooooo juicy. So tell me, did anything interesting happen," Varric exclaimed in delight as he raised an eyebrow.

Sera slouched her shoulders in disappointment. "Sadly no, that boy wouldn't know flirting if it was written on a rock and precisely thrown at his face."

"Damn. I was looking forward to adding another chapter to my new story. I came up with the name this morning. I like to call it Romancing the Templar." Varric raised his right hand and waved it over his head to give his proud title emphasis.

Sera thought a moment, in fact about the budding romance between the Inquisitor and the former Knight-Captain. A huge grin slowly spread across her face. "Sooooo... When do you think blockhead is going to get the courage to take action?"

Varric's eyes snapped towards her and a wicked smile was soon on his face as well.

"What do you mean "take action"?" A voice arose from the shadows and a body emerged with it.

"Cole, how long have you been standing there?"

Cole hung his head, blushing from the realization he was eavesdropping. With a small voice, he squeaked, "I have just walked into the room and I didn't want to interrupt your conversation."

Varric blinked a couple times before bursting into laughter. Cole frowned. He did not understand the dwarf with the luxuriant chest hair's sudden outburst.

Through chuckles, Varric blurted,"Oh kid, your innocence amuses me greatly. Corrupting you will be fun." He wiped away a tear in the corner of his eye.

"Sera, should I tell him?"

Sera folded her arms and made a pouting face. "Go ahead. I don't care what you tell IT," she replied.

Varric shrugged, then popped his knuckles and said, "Oh this is gonna be good." He gestured Cole to lean closer to him. The dwarf firmly grasped the boy's shoulder and cleared his throat.

"See Cole, when a man and woman love each other—"

"— I do not like where this is going," Cole interrupted, his face disfigured with horror.


	2. Quarreling Mages

**This is a banter between Solas and Dorian, mostly. Vivienne is mentioned, but pays no attention to the boys. (Too proud for that.) Solas is a mage who**

**takes ****his work seriously and is experienced in the area of the Fade. Dorian, on the other hand, strikes me as witty and sharp. A bit like Vivienne. Enjoy the banter! :)**

* * *

"How come you two always manage to look your best?" Solas struggled to keep up with the other two mages as they followed the Inquisitor into a dark cavern.

"I am flattered by the comment, Solas." Dorian twitched his mustache as he mischievously smiled.

"No no, not like that. You both look untouched even though we've been fighting. No blood. No mud. Just perfect hair and unscathed clothing... How?"

Vivienne did not comment. She only watched their bickering, for she was too proud and proper to join in.

Dorian shrugged. "It just happens. Though I always do check my hair in this handy mirror of mine." He reached into his pack, peering inside to find his small mirror. "Blast it. I must have left it behind."

Solas snickered at Dorian's hurt face. "Well I guess you can't be so perfect anymore."

Dorian's face immediately returned to a genuine smile. "My friend, I am not upset about it. I must say you have perfect hair as well."

Solas's sheer smile turned gray. "I'm bald," he said flatly.

"Yes yes, I know. It's perfect."

"Uh how?"

Dorian stroked his chin in thought. "It will make a great substitute for a mirror!" He clapped his hands together in excitement.

"I hate you..."

Ahead of the quarreling mages, the Inquisitor only rolled her eyes and pressed forward.


	3. Uhhh Cookie?

**This is a banter between Cullen, Lelianna and Iron Bull. From experience with the qunari, Lelianna knows quite a bit about them and their culture. Iron**

**Bull just wants a snack and Cullen to dirty his trousers. Enjoy this short banter! :)**

* * *

"Are you going to eat that?"

Cullen tore his eyes from his letter only to find a large mass blocking his view of the dining hall.

"Uh pardon?"

Iron Bull pointed at Cullen's silver plate. "Once more... Are you going to eat that?" Bull's voice boomed throughout the room, making him sound even bigger than he already was. Cullen glanced down and saw the pastry sitting on the edge of his platter.

He looked back at Iron Bull and opened his mouth to answer, but Lelianna made her way into the hall and spoke instead.

"It would be wise to give up that delicious treat, yes? For I knew a qunari and he was quite fond of cookies. Once he stole some from a child and called it a— Ah what was it— Oh yes, a fat slovenly thing."

She stalked over to Cullen's table and stood next to Bull, holding her hands behind her back.

Then she continued, "I heard some qunari would kill for baked treats. Their culture and life would not accept such goodies," she paused, then looked straight into Cullen's eyes. "To be blunt, they are not particular fond of templars ever since the revolt in Kirkwall." There was a fire in her eyes that glowed dangerously. Behind her, she hit Bull on the back, signaling his cue.

He stood still for a moment and then suddenly remembered what he had to do. He straightened his back, puffed out his chest, flared his nostrils and gave Cullen the evilest glare he could muster.

Cullen, on the other hand, sat rather small in his chair, defenseless. He shot a look at the cookie on his plate, then to Bull, repeatedly.

"Uhhh... Here." He snatched the dessert and quickly shoved it into Iron Bull's large hands.

"I-i didn't want it. It's yours," Cullen said while standing up abruptly. "Um... I think I heard the Inquisitor calling me... Have a n-nice evening."

With that, he quietly paced himself out of the room carefully, so he would not run away and look cowardly.

Iron Bull glanced down at the small pastry in his giant hand, then to Lelianna to his side. The moment their eyes met, they both started laughing uncontrollably. They walked out of the room together, chatting and teasing about how Cullen might have fouled his armor.


	4. Hide n' Seeker

**This banter is between the Inquisitor, Blackwall, Cassandra and Varric. Drinking games are going on within the hold and the Inquisitor is hard at work,**

**for she has no time for child's play. Surprisingly, she finds unlikely candidate playing with the boys. This banter was inspired from Kelgrid and her fanart**

**on deviantART. Check her profile out when you have the time. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

The Inquisitor sat at her large oak desk, studying maps and strategic plans for the upcoming journey to Halamshiral. Empress Celene I requested the Inquisition to arrive at the Winter Palace, for fear of an assassin was planning to end the Empress's life. The Inquisitor was staring intensely at her maps when she heard a loud crash outside her door. She ran out, with weapon in hand, simply to find a poor drunk Blackwall laying on decorative armor. Now dented decorative armor. She let out a heavy sigh and it seemed to arouse Blackwall from his unconscious state.

"Ohhh Trevelyan," he paused to hiccup and then he continued, "I did not see you there. How long have you been watching me?" He peered up at her and smiled sluggishly.

"I have only come out of my study to see what all the ruckus was." She pinched and rubbed her forehead. "Come on, up you go."

She extended a hand down for Blackwall. He looked at it and slowly took it. She heaved him up with all her might. Blackwall was then leaning on the Inquisitor to keep from falling again.

"If I may ask Blackwall, what were you trying to accomplish?"

"Oh yes— Uhhh if my memory is right, then Cassandra, Varric and I are playing hide n' seek right now. Cassandra is it."

The Inquisitor stopped in her tracks, almost dropping Blackwall to the hard stone floor. "What? Cassandra is playing hide n' seek? I understand you and Varric, but Cassandra?!"

Blackwall shrugged, losing balance and stumbling forward. Once he got back up, he leaned in close to the Inquisitor and whispered, "She is the Seeker afterall. Honestly, everyone is hiding from her. She's scary when drunk."

He hiccuped one last time before passing out and making the floor his new bed.

The Inquisitor scratched her head and mumbled under her breath about hiding the ale instead. Suddenly yelling and laughing could be heard from behind her. She turned around to see Varric running down the long corridor, laughing and taunting someone behind him.

"Stay out of my room dwarf! And tell your lackey spirit not to put bread all over my room," Cassandra roared down the hallway.


	5. Tossing Elves

**This banter is actually from the game, Dragon Age Inquisition. In other words, I'd like to share it with you, the reader. It gives us an idea how the Bull's and**

**Sera's relationship works and parts of their personalities. Keep in touch to hear more banters! :)**

* * *

"Sera, I had a thought. The next time we run into a line of enemies, I'll pick you up and throw you."

"Get off," Sera growled as Iron Bull reached for her. She trotted ahead away from Bull.

"No! This could work!" Iron Bull jogged after her. "I loft you over the front rank, and you land behind them to flank... Mayhem ensues." He grinned down at Sera.

"I can't fly, you daft tit," she roared.

Bull paused on the trail for a moment, thinking, then tried to catch up. "Think of the mayhem, Sera! Mayhem," he said while chuckling darkly.

She rolled her eyes. "I'd get a wedge-up something fierce!"

"Look, you and Varric are the only ones small enough and he's," he stopped and rubbed his temples, then continued, " he's pretty dense."

Sera turned around to look at him. "Well, do some bloody presses!" With that, she threw her hands into the air and stormed off.


	6. Nicknames?

**This is a playful banter between Varric and Cole, discussing nicknames among the Inquisition party. I feel they would get along swimmingly. Enjoy! :) **

* * *

"So Cole, what's with you and the nicknames?" Varric questioned as he played with the pewter fork in his right hand, pushing the greens on his plate into the mash potatoes.

Surprised at hearing his own name, Cole jumped in his seat. The fork he was holding, was now sailing threw the air. It landed with a small splash in the punch bowl.

"Oops," Cole mumbled.

Luckily, he and Varric were the only two left in the dinning hall. There was no one else to complain for his actions. Thank the Maker.

Varric continued, unscathed by Cole's mistake, "Nicknames are usually my thing, you see. I was only curious with your reasoning behind them." Varric folded his arms into his lap, politely.

"Well I don't know... Names are hard to remember," Cole said quietly.

"Hm, then what's my nickname?"

"Chest Hair." Cole smirked towards Varric.

Caught off guard, Varric's laugh sounded like thunder in the large open space of the dinning hall, nearly making Cole fall out of his chair in fright.

"Sorry kid, but that's a good one," Varric managed to say while laughing.

Still excited, Varric asked, "Okay, what about Solas?" He knew Cole had something good waiting in store.

"Baldy."

Varric knew that was coming, but he still had to laugh. Once calmed, he asked about Bull.

"Giant," Cole said. He was getting quite bored with the questions.

"That makes sense kid. What about Sera?" Varric leaned in closer.

Cole had to think about her. He didn't really know what she was like, except angry and always yelling at him. "Hmmm... Feisty." He shrugged and went back to picking at his uneaten dinner.

"Okay one more. Vivienne. Hers?"

Cole winced at her name and stopped all together what he was doing. "She's Vivienne," he whispered.

Varric scratched his head. "What? No nickname?"

"Well she did have one, but..." Cole trailed off and gulped.

"But?!" Varric was nearly on the edge of his seat.

"She found out," Cole whimpered.

Varric was confused. He frowned and rubbed his chin, feeling the rough stubble lining his jaw. Then it hit him.

He smiled coolly and replied, "Yeah, she is a scary lady."

Cole, staring at his plate, nodded slowly in agreement.


	7. Not so Peaceful Afternoon

**This is a banter between Vivienne, Cullen and Dorian. At times, Vivienne can be a little snooty, but who wouldn't if they had to deal with childish people**

**all day. Here's an example (from my mind) what could happen in the life of this elegant mage. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

Vivienne sat in her comfortable cushioned chair within the sky hold's study, hoping to find peace and quiet, and to finish her book.

A faint buzzing broke the silence. She sighed and snapped her book shut, creating a loud clap that bounced all over the room. She searched around the room and located the annoyance. A single shot of ice was fired and the buzzing was no more. A soft clank filled the air and the frozen fly sat alone on the grand window sill.

Being satisfied, she smiled and hunkered down into her chair. Footsteps arose from the empty hallway, but Vivienne ignored the disturbance. She simply shoved her nose further into the book.

A voice shattered the new silence. "Vivienne! Thank the Maker I found you!" Cullen raced into the study and hastily closed the doors behind him.

Vivienne tensed and trembled from rage. The slightest sound she didn't care about, but this baboon was too far. She slammed her book shut.

"What Cullen?!" Her face twitched in anger.

Cullen, surprised, thinned his lips. He hesitated to respond, which only angered the mage more. She glared at him intensely. He shook his head and snapped out his trance, for fear he might become the study's new rug.

"A horrible creature," he exclaimed. "It has breached the sky hold's doors!"

Cullen threw his hands into the air and took cover behind the large desk in the middle of the room. Vivienne watched his antics and was very confused.

A boom echoed through the room. The doors rattled. Something was trying to break them down. She grabbed her staff and readied herself for a fight.

The doors burst open and a figure slowly walked in. "Ohhh Cullen! Where are you, " it said in a high pitched voice.

Cullen gasped in horror and ducked down to hide. "Begone demon! You will find nothing here for you!"

Vivienne clenched her staff and gritted her teeth. Then figure stepped into view. Vivienne saw that this was not a horrible creature, but her fellow mage Dorian. Though Dorian did not look like Dorian. Minus the mustache and the patch, but add terribly done makeup. Vivienne dropped her staff and howled with laughter. "It's only Dorian, you fool!"

Upon hearing this, Cullen's head popped up from his hiding spot. "What?"

He stood up, dusted himself off and walked towards Dorian. He peered into his face and blushed with embarrassment. "By the Maker, it is Dorian."

"The one and only," Dorian replied. He then frowned, puckering his lips. "Why did you run away from me, Cullen?"

Cullen blushed again and rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh I thought you were... my aunt," he whispered.

"What," Vivienne and Dorian shouted in unison.

"She was always pinching my cheeks," he mumbled. "It hurt." He rubbed his cheek as if it had happened recently.

"Oh so that's how you got that scar, " Dorian snickered.

Cullen shot him a glare. "No!" He threw down his hand, away from his scarred cheek.

Vivienne eyed Dorian closely. "Dorian, where did you get that makeup?"

"What? Can't a man feel pretty every once in awhile?"

She shook her head. "That's not what I asked."

Cullen saw the fierce look in her eyes and backed away slowly. He glanced for the door, but he knew he would never make it in time.

Dorian turned as pale as a Cole. "Uhhh..." Without finishing, he bolted for the door and down the hallway.

Vivienne's temper bubbled. "You little toad! That's mine," she hissed.

She stomped her foot. "Cullen! Get out!"

"You don't have to tell me twice!" Cullen sprinted out after Dorian.

Behind them, the large doors of the study slammed shut.


	8. The Tavern Pt 1

**Here's a lengthy banter. I uploaded it into parts, continuing after you read this page. This story/banter describes a night where the Inquisition stops at a tavern to rest and enjoy themselves. This evening for the Inquisition is surely a night to remember.**

**Within this story, I included some funny phrases from some movies. Try to guess what they're from. Plus a shout out to LexLuther0927, for helping me create some amusing parts. Now enjoy this banter! :)**

* * *

In the distance, lanterns glowed faintly through the darkness, serving as beacons for the lost and weary. The trail underfoot was beginning to become wider and more firm to the touch, indicating the road was popular and used frequently around this area. The Inquisitor squinted at the building and noticed a small sign hanging above the door. As they approached closer, it became clearer. _The Quiet Nug_, it read. The Inquisitor sighed in relief and wiped the sweat from her brow. These companions of hers were starting to grumble and complain like small children, wanting to rest and be fed.

"Oh bloody hell, are we there yet? My feet are beginning to kill me," Sera grumbled as she walked along.

"Yes, Inquisitor, we're all starting to tire," Blackwall yawned. "And it wouldn't hurt to have a quick drink as well."

Varric, walking along side the Inquisitor, looked over his shoulder to the wilting Inquisition. He stated, "Remember kiddies, Her Eminence is just as tired and she has to put up with all of you at the same time." A pleasant smile followed. "Oh just to be clear for tomorrow's journey, yee who has gas travels in the back of the pack."

"That means you, Bull," Cassandra said while pinching her nose. "Oh that's rank." Either by silently nodding or exclaiming "By the Maker Yes!" the rest of the Inquisition agreed with Cassandra's input.

Iron Bull simply hung his head and walked slower, eventually placing himself at the end of the Inquisition. Then none shall smell his wrath.

Even though her companions were somewhat brutal or strange, she accepted them. They were her new family and she equally enjoyed each of their presences and conversations; Even if they involved childish behavior.


	9. The Tavern Pt 2

**Part 2 of The Tavern. The Inquisition just flat out embarrasses themselves as a group. Enjoy :)**

* * *

They came before the tavern's door in the cool night. The lanterns up close shined fiercely, carving the darkness with their light. The Inquisitor blinked and brought her hand upon the door to knock. It was the polite thing to do.

"Oh come now, it is a tavern. Just walk in." Dorian tapped his foot, obviously annoyed. He was ready for some ale and the finest food they served. Just thinking about it made his stomach growl, loudly. The tavern door flung open with a magical force and the whole Inquisition stumbled threw the doorway, toppling over each other.

Everyone in the ale house stopped and stared at the strangers, lying tangled on the floorboards. Men stopped laughing and drinking. The servers stopped pouring alcoholic beverages. The musicians stopped playing their instruments. It was total silence, except for the groaning and complaining from the fearsome warriors.

"Oh my robes," Vivienne squealed. "It'll take me the whole night to fix them!"

Dorian struggled underneath Blackwall's weight. "Well my dear, you have a night to fix them," he managed to say through labored breath.

"Get your butt out of my face," Cassandra cried. "Well get your face outta my butt." Iron Bull was enjoying himself quite immensely. _That will teach her_, he thought.

The members eventually gathered themselves off the wooden floor. Varric chuckled, "Well that was quite the grand entrance." He dusted himself off and glanced around the room. "Hey where's Mr. Shy and Gloomy?"

A weak voice was barely heard over the now laughing tavern. "Down here." There was Cole, still lying on the floor. If he could become a puddle, then that's what he would be right now. "I can't feel my legs," he whispered hoarsely.

Iron Bull reached down and heaved him up. "Oh Cole, so you were person that broke my fall." He dusted him off, put his arm around the boy and smiled. "Well thanks kid!" Bull then slapped Cole on the back, reeling him forward, making him collapse to the ground with force. "My bad, Cole," Iron Bull laughed. In response, only a groan was heard.

The Inquisitor winced for the poor boy, but he would have to wait. The tavern's owner was waiting for their requests for the night.

"What'll it be for ya?" He was a fat, stocky man with a beard too big for his plump face. His eyes were darkened and bloodshot, a clear sign of restless nights. He proceeded to spit into an ale mug, and then wiping it out with a stained rag.

The Inquisitor grimaced from the man's actions. She made a mental note, _next time, bring own mugs_. She cleared her throat and made sure she sounded strong and confident as a leader should be. "My good man, my companions and I are seeking refuge for the evening. Your finest dining and ale would be most appreciated. Thank you for you time, ser." She lifted her chin and sneered at the man. Staring at the Inquisitor, the man retorted, "Well there are some tables over there for you and your menservants." He pointed at a corner in far side of the tavern.

The Inquisitor's eyes snapped towards him, mouth gaping at his comment. She raised her index finger and tried to correct him, but the other female members were already barking at him. The Inquisitor sighed slowly and lowered her hand. It was going to be a long night.


	10. The Tavern Pt 3

**Part 3 of The Tavern! The male members of the Inquisition all sit down to drinks and have quite the good old**

**time, except for Solas. I can understand why. Poor elf. Enjoy this part! :)**

* * *

After the Inquisitor stopped the raging hormonal females, the group found their tables and readied themselves for a feast. Iron Bull yanked Cole off his shoulder and dropped him into a wooden chair. "There you go my young man, a fine seat and a meal waiting for you." Iron Bull crossed his arms, happy that he made up for his and Cole's skirmish earlier. Cole glanced weakly at the soup in front of him, then at Bull. He smiled feebly as thanks. Then he let his head droop and his neck gave away. Cole's face soon became acquainted with the soup, creating a loud smacking noise as they met.

Bull let out a hearty laugh and said, "Looks like the boy was really hungry!" Bull once more gave Cole a friendly slap of the back, pushing Cole's face farther into the soup, making it squish and fall over the sides of the bowl. The Inquisitor merely shook her head.

Surrounding her, the guys talked and laughed about killing things and just being men in general. Solas sat quietly in the middle of it, reading and writing in his book. Varric soon took notice of it.

"Solas! What do you think you're doing," shouted Varric. He stood up in his chair and threw his hands onto the table, leaning as far as he could to reach Solas across from him. Solas looked up and sighed heavily. "I wish to indulge myself into my research. This will be my only chance for a while." Solas examined Varric's face closely. "Ah you're drunk, much as I expected." He simply shrugged and went back to his book.

Varric squinted one eye at him and raised his eyebrow. "Oh come on Solas! Join in with us!" He reaches over and snags the book right out of Solas's hands. "Hey," Solas yelled.

Varric shook his finger at him. "Now now, if order to get it back, you must do something." He smiled lazily at the steaming elf. Solas quietly gave up and replied, "Very well. What would you have me do?"

The drunken dwarf studied the room. His eyes brightened up when he discovered a bar wrench across the tavern. It was perfect. "Okay elf, see that bar wrench." Solas glanced at the server, hastily pouring drinks to the noisy patrons. He nodded at Varric. "Well go over there and flirt with her."

Waiting for the elf's reply, the male members leaned in to hear his answer, all quivering with excitement. Solas frowned, but agreed. "If I do this, you will give my book back, correct?" Varric grunted a yes at him. Solas's shoulders drooped, but he did indeed walk over to the woman.

"Greetings, I've recently been in your acquaintance and this is absurd. But here I provide to you my contact details. So hail me, maybe?" Solas blushed and rocked on his tippy toes, waiting for the lady to become aware of his presence. "What'd you say bub," said a rather gruff voice. The woman turned around and was revealed as a man, posing as a serving lady. Solas gasped in horror and surprise. His face burned with embarrassment and he quickly retreated to his chair where his "friends" were laughing their arses off.

He mumbled under his breath, "You guys knew that was a man… I'll get you all back." Varric, Bull, Dorian and Blackwall roared with laughter, pounding the table with their fists and rocking in their chairs. Even bubbles could be seen rising from Cole's soup. As promised, Varric tossed Solas his book back and started gossiping about Solas's new boyfriend.


	11. The Tavern Pt 4

**Part 4 of The Tavern! Here we see the ladies have a good game of darts, but will everything turn out just fine?**

**Find out for yourself! Enjoy! :)**

* * *

The Inquisitor felt sorry for Solas. No person should endure what he went through. She stared at the guy's table, trying to ignore Sera's bickering and moaning about the how the fat pig called her a man.

"I mean really? Yes men do have short hair and so do I, but that doesn't classify me as a man." Sera stood up abruptly, making her chair fall back. "I am not a man," she yelled. Once again, the tavern fell silent. The Inquisitor lifted her hand and executed a face palm, dragging her hand slowly down from her forehead.

"Sit down Sera," Cassandra ordered. "You're an embarrassment."

Sera glared a Cassandra, but didn't take back. She calmly pulled her chair back up and sat down. She let out a huff, folded her arms and began to pout.

Cassandra tapped the table with her finger. She was starting to get bored. It was time for some amusement. "Vivienne, have you ever played darts?" She sat up straight and watched Vivienne smooth out her robes.

"Of course I have. Do you take me for a boring anti-social mage?" She continued smoothing without looking up.

Cassandra frowned, believing that was true, but simply stated no. "Are you up for a couple rounds of darts?"

Vivienne stopped and eyed Cassandra suspiciously.

"I won't throw a dart at you. You have nothing to fear, First Enchanter." Cassandra stood up and went over to a dart board, beckoning Vivienne to follow. Vivienne sighed and trailed Cassandra. They stood together, talking and starting the first round.

After many rounds, the score was all tied up. There would be only one winner. Cassandra held her last dart carefully, took aim and launched it towards the board. It landed with a thud in the center of the board. "Bull's-eye," she proclaimed as pumped the air with her fist. Vivienne shrugged and stated she could do better. Cassandra frowned and wondered what could be better than a Bull's-eye.

Vivienne stood still, folding her arms and closing her eyes. Her dart, though, magically lifted from a table and threw itself. Cassandra watched it fly across the room and then she lost track of it. Just as she was about to say something, a man grunted loudly within the space. Cassandra looked over to her companions' tables and there, sticking out of Iron Bull's eye patch, was indeed the dart. Her mouth fell open and she gazed at Vivienne who still was standing in the same place with her arms folded.

"Bull's-eye," was all she said and she turned back to her table.


	12. The Tavern Pt 5

**The Last Part of The Tavern! The crew settles down for the night, but all it takes is a single sneeze and a**

**snarky mage to make the trip take a turn for the worse. Enjoy this last bit! :)**

* * *

The Inquisition, fully content, was soon to retire to their rooms. The tavern was now quiet and calm with only a few drunken customers stumbling about, trying to find the door or the way to their rooms. The Inquisitor, one of the last people in the room, finally stood up and made for her room as well. A few steps towards the tavern's hallway, she stopped and noticed a man sitting at a table with his head down. She stared and rushed over to his side.

"Ser, are you all right?" She gently touched his shoulder. There was no response, but his hair was familiar. She leaned down to see his face, but his face was laying in some cold soup. "Cole!" She lifted his head out of the soup and grabbed the nearest table cloth to wipe away the food.

"Did they leave you behind," she asked. Cole mumbled, but she was unable to make it out. She frowned and threw down the cloth. "Come on; let's get you to your room." She made an effort to pick up Cole out of his chair, but he was rather heavy. She looked around for someone to help. No one was in sight. Not even the fat tavern owner. She sighed and grumbled to herself that she'd have to do this the old fashion way.

With a large grunt and pull, the Inquisitor dragged the limp Cole out of his chair. His body hit the ground with a loud thud. "Ow," he whined. The Inquisitor quietly whispered sorry and grabbed his legs. She then lugged his body across the room, occasionally hitting chairs and tables, and then struggled down the hall. Soon she reached his room, but only to be stopped by turning his body into the doorway. It seems his torso didn't want to turn that way. She heaved with all her might, jerking Cole's body against the frame. He hit it with a thump.

She winced, hoping it wouldn't make him angry. Not a peep arose from his badly beaten chest or bruised head. After correcting herself and finally managing to hall his body into the room, she bumped into Dorian, who was standing and silently judging his atmosphere.

"Oh, Inquisitor! I didn't see you there," said Dorian. The Inquisitor dropped Cole's legs, creating a soft whine from his throat and her saying sorry for the millionth time.

He peered down at Cole, shrugging and looking back at the drapes on the windows. "This room is simply ugly. This is definitely not our money's worth," he complained. The Inquisitor opened her mouth to answer, but he stopped her. "Hold on," he said. Dorian's face twisted into an ugly frown, his mouth slightly ajar. He then sneezed very loudly, almost loud enough to wake the dead.

"Ah sorry," Dorian apologized. "What were you saying my dear Inquisitor?" He stared at the Inquisitor, who was transfixed with something in front of her. Her face was distorted with fear and horror. Dorian averted his gaze and saw what she was so interested in. The window's drapes were on fire. Smoke was now filling the room and the fire was quickly engulfing all of the drapes. The tavern's owner rushed into the room and stood beside them. "What happened," he screamed. He was unaware his decorations were aflame. "I smelled smoke, but…" Dorian grabbed the man's chubby bearded chin and rotated his head directly at the flames.

He screamed even louder. "My drapes! They're ruined!" He fell to his knees. Dorian turned his attention to the man.

"Honey, they were already ruined when you bought them. Mhmmm." Dorian snapped his fingers in a pattern that zigzagged across his face and body, and then moved in head in a circular fashion. The man looked at Dorian with perplexity.

"Now is not the time to be snarky, Dorian!" The Inquisitor sprinted out of the room and woke up all of her companions. Together, they ran outside, with Cole in tow, and watched the tavern burn to the ground.

Varric stood beside the Inquisitor and wrapped one of his arms around her waist, wanting to comfort her. She glanced at him for a moment, and then continued watching the soaring flames. Varric sighed. "Well now I know for sure that we have both grand entrances and departures. I believe we're unstoppable."

Through the carnage and crying, a hoarse voice faintly said, "I'm glad that Bull didn't pass gas in there." Cole lifted his head from the dirt and smiled at his new friends.

* * *

**And that's the end of that. I doubt that would really happen in the story, but a girl can dream. Anyway I want to inform the viewers, on my profile page, there is leaked information about the game. New and old stuff will be posted. I will update it as frequently as I can. It's still in the process of being written, but there's still a great amount of information on there. Message me for questions or simply comment and I will try to get back to you. Thanks for reading :D**


	13. An Uncanny Appearance

**Here's a short banter between the ladies of the skyhold. (Except Cassandra.) They're trying on dresses for the Orlesian Ball, but an unwanted visitor**

**barges in and things do not turn out well. (Maybe for the visitor.) Enjoy! :)**

* * *

The Inquisitor struggled to slip into the dress Vivienne had insisted on her wearing. It was just too tight. "Viv, I don't think this is going to work," she informed through gasps and grunts. Vivienne's voice floated up from some part of the room.

"Why don't you like it? I think it suits you quite well." She could tell Vivienne was disappointed.

"No, I do like it. It's just a bit tight." She shimmied and wriggled around, pulling up the dress as she went. Suddenly she lost her balance and stumbled into the blind next to her. They both went crashing to the floor. "Oof," the Inquisitor yelped as she landed.

As to prove her point, an awful tearing noise echoed throughout the room, making Vivienne cringed where she stood. "Well I guess that one is out, " Josephine mumbled while writing down something on her notebook. Mostly likely a check on how many times the Inqusitor upset Vivienne today.

"Ugh now I will have to find another. I will be right back." With that, Vivienne slipped out of the changing room to look for lost dresses in the skyhold.

The room grew quiet. Josephine, Sera and the Inquisitor were the only beings in the changing room. The space would be eerily quiet if it wasn't for Sera's grunts and grumbles about her dress. She finally came out from behind the blind. She twirled around and looked at the Inquisitor. "Does this make my butt look big," she questioned sarcastically.

The dress was hideous and definitely made her bosom stick out, due to the frills. The Inquisitor chuckled at her remark and Josephine joined in. The three of them filled the silence with laughter and jokes, until Vivienne strolled back in. She was holding many different elegant dresses, some far too fancy for the Inquisitor to even touch.

"Here we go. Try on this one." Vivienne tossed a light green dress, with black laces decorating the sleeves and the end of the dress, at the Inquisitor.

Confused, the Inquisitor glanced around the room. "I have no where to change. I accidentally ripped through the blind as well as the dress." Across the room, Sera shouted, "You can use this one when I'm done changing out of this monstrosity."

Vivienne snorted. "I thought that was a very cute dress... Oh well, Inquisitor try on the dress. We don't have time for waiting. I will keep watch." With a flick of her wrists, Vivienne gestured the Inquisitor towards the dress.

The Inquisitor sighed, knowing she didn't have a choice, and began removing the ripped clothing.

Suddenly, the room's door flew open and someone marched inside. That someone was Cullen. He was rambling about replacing some the troops in southern Fereldan, but he immediately stopped and dropped all his papers when he saw the Inquisitor. He turned a bright crimson in response.

The Inquisitor squealed and covered her bare chest with her arms. She blushed from the situation.

Cullen, wide-eyed and red, quickly averted his gaze and gathered his paperwork. He stood up again and covered his eyes with a hand. "Uhh forgive me... I-i clearly did not think this through." He peeked through his fingers, but hastily shut them again. "I will.. um... try speaking with you... at a more appropriate time," he paused. "I am truly sorry." He took a few steps back, stumbling over some unknown object, then retreated for the War Table.

Once he was gone, the Inquisitor slowly looked at Vivienne and glared. "I thought you would keep watch," she hissed.

The mage shrugged. "He was fast. I didn't hear him coming."

Sera appeared with a new dress on. "I bet he tiptoed to the door. He knew you would be in here. He just wanted a glimspe of what he'll get in the future, " she snickered.

The Inquisitor opened her mouth to object, but a new voice carried from the doorway. "So I heard templar boy blubbering about some problem he ran into and i decided I would investigate because I'm nosy like that. I have to say the only problem I see here is you covering up that treasure." The Inquisitor looked at Varric, who was leaning against the door frame, giving his best charming smile. It didn't work on her.

All the women in the room were staring daggers at Varric. "GET OUT," they screamed.

The dwarf fled the scene, laughing madly and dodging flying shoes aimed at him.


End file.
